Alcoholism: It's a Disease, Not a Moral Failing

In my day job, I am a social worker and an alcohol and drug counselor. What astounds me about living in this day and age is that some folks still see alcoholism and drug addiction as a moral failing. Even some doctors are judgmental, treating the afflicted-person in ways they would never treat someone with cancer, kidney-failure, or heart disease.

It's a disease of the brain. Here are some reasons that we know it is a disease: 1. It is chronic, progressive, and deadly. 2. We have SPEC-scans that prove that the brains of the afflicted are damaged. 3. Tolerance (or needing more and more to get the same effect) for the person who is dealing with this disease shows that something has changed in the brain. 4. Withdrawal, or taking a drug or alcohol addicted person off the drugs or alcohol, will create strong physical symptoms such as the tremors  (shaking) often seen in the alcoholic or the symptoms of the opioid-addicted person: vomiting, shaking, diarrhea, insomnia. If drug addiction/alcoholism was not a disease, would we be seeing these unpleasant, sometimes dangerous physical symptoms, once people stopped using?

Actually, even a study of identical twins, sons of an alcoholic father, separated at birth, found that both boys, one raised in an alcoholic home and one raised in a non-alcoholic home became addicted to alcohol. Studies have shown that the children of substance-abusers had a strong tendency, once introduced to the drug-of-choice, to become addicted. Theory has it that this disease is partly genetic; one may have inherited tendencies.

Perhaps, some folks don't know that setting limits is not the same as shaming people for what they have been unfortunate enough to have. Imagine stopping someone who is physically-challenged, saying, "You slacker! Get up and walk!" Being wheelchair-bound is not a person's fault, but some people take the challenge it presents and do something with it.  Some people might stand on the street corner asking for handouts, while one friend of mine got her Master's Degree in social work and is attempting to help others.

Now, wait a minute! I'm not saying that people should not be responsible for themselves. I'm saying that "It's not the fault of an alcoholic or substance abusing person (and there are a lot of behavior-addictions  too--like compulsive gambling, eating, sex-addiction, on line pornography, debting) that they have this disease; but (and here's the part that the alcoholic/addicted person has to do the work on) what is that person choosing do do about it?"

And, these days, there are groups and doctors and craving-medications and therapy that help the afflicted.
But, like the old saying, "You can bring a horse to water; but you can't make him drink."; the best the rest of us, if we are people who care about the addicted, can do---is to set limits with concern and stick to them: the husband or wife who says: "I'm not going to stay with you to watch you killing yourself" and then sticks to it; the employer who says, "Unless you get treatment and stay in remission with your alcohol/drug addiction, I'm going to need to let you go."

And, don't even get me started about 12-step meetings! What a group of good potential supports, a real "functional family," can be had, along with a drug/alcohol-free social life---for free, just by going to meetings. And the spiritual side of AA/NA/OA is profound and life-altering (not religious, but believing that alcohol/drugs are not your God, and you are not your God either....One can be an agnostic and being able to have what has been called, "Radical Acceptance," is a true life-gift, alcoholic, substance-abuser or not!)

Some of the dearest hearts I've met go to 12-step meetings to maintain their abstinence (being free of the chemical) and grow into sobriety (a way of thinking that helps maintain functional thinking and improves the quality of one's life, generally achieved by the taking of the 12-steps and a healthy amount of therapy.)

So, sorry for the lecture, but it seems so ridiculous to me that in this day and with all the information we have about addiction--that more people would "get" that this is a disease. Of course it makes us angry! Of course it frustrates us because, like the addicted person, we cannot control someone's behaviors--even if we love that person with all of our hearts--We can only control our own. It's a disease that may, at first need the limit-setting of significant people (the husband/wife, the "boss"). I'm not talking about enabling the person by ignoring their behaviors--but rather by being a loving friend, parent, child, employer in saying to the addicted person in our lives: "You go take care of yourself or I need to stop/limit my contact with you...I cannot stand by and watch you kill yourself!"

And those of us who work with the addicted and their families feel this way: "Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself." Addiction is a strong foe, but many, many people have put their disease in remission and lived to help others. Now, that's what I'm talking about! Any questions?