Hard-Discovered Tools for Flipping A Mood-State

     I notice that on occasion I will get into a mood which feels paralyzing. Once I'm in it, I can't tell when it began and I seem to feel helpless to snap out of it.

     As I ask the people I know about their own struggles with Negative Thinking, I find I am not alone. For me, a situation and a thought may start it. And, most often, I find I go to that place when I am, as 12-step programs call it, in the H.A.L.T. state---You know, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.

     So, what I've been trying to do to ward off that state is to have a Mood First Aid Kit--I like to call it "A Hope Chest"--in my car, for times I feel the prodromal syndrome that precedes going into a negative mood-state."

     Often, I can snap out of it when I connect with my larger life; the things that are in my life, but I am not connecting with them at the moment. In other words, if I'm feeling lonely or feeling down. (And, yes, therapists sometimes feel just the way their clients do!) I need to do some CPR on my mood before it's blueness runs into the next day or into the weekend.

     Instead of allowing myself to be trapped by my mood, I can reach for something that will soothe me--something without harmful side effects. Peering inside my "Hope Chest," I will find some of the reminders I need to snap out of it: a gratitude list; a positive book or favorite album or dvd that spins my mood; an affirmation or poem; pictures of my sons and my niece and nephew, my sister, my friends; pictures of items in my home or office that inspire me; sayings that I like; a list of accomplishments (We all have little accomplishments!)

     And then there's another way I turn a bum-mood around....Am I feeling lonely? Well, if I were more social, could I do my practice (which is my work)? If I were a social butterfly, would I have time to be creative--to be having this conversation with you? If I were more social, could I expose myself to things that have been tremendously enriching: hypnotherapy, learning french, travel.

     Also, you don't have to be a boy-scout to know that being prepared can be crucial. So in my mood-surfing kit, I would have: some music I love; something healthy to eat; something healthy to drink; and, possibly, some phone numbers to call for support.

      Recently, I was approaching my birthday with a feeling of dread. Was I appreciating being alive and healthy and having a wonderful profession that I love even 21 years since I went back to school for it? Not really.  I was thinking: "Do I really have the energy to drive to my sister's house? I'm feeling a little tired." The birthday plan I had was to drive to my sister's in a suburb of Chicago. We had planned to have dinner and go to a movie. Then on Sunday, I had planned to go to a spiritual center with some friends, followed by brunch and browsing in the Andersonville area of the city.

     I had a terrific weekend, actually--So, looking back, I consider that the time I spent feeling that dread-feeling a colossal waste of time!

     On my birthday, after I stretched my comfort zone (read: forced myself) to drive to my sister's, I found the following: 1. The weather was excellent 2. Dinner and the movie that we saw was great fun (It was in French) and 3. Chicago's Bodhi Center was inspiring, along with the joy of brunch and browsing with people I like.

     And, when I returned home, over twenty-five friends and relatives from all over the country contacted me. When I look at how I approached the weekend (with dread of disappointment and a fear of loneliness)--the outcome was actually the polar opposite. As one friend of mine said: "You were like the man who is dying of thirst, surrounded by a thousand lakes." Ever since my birthday, I've been trying to boil down what it was that started the positive spin, so that I can spin it again.

And I think the key was nudging myself out of my comfort zone. I think if I hadn't forced myself to just get in the car and drive and fought "I-don't-feel-like-its" (Note: this must be said with a whine.) I would have had the dread-day I was self-predicting. Now, I'm intrigued by how people, myself included, can moodspin. All in all, it is not doing what I feel like doing or am habituated to, which allows others in,  pulls me out of my darker places, and ultimately has a domino effect on every aspect of my life.